Friday, April 16, 2010

2 is not always better than one.

This is going to be a quick entry. I am tired, very tired. Seems this past week I have been overly tired. Once my period is past day one, I am up and running again. Not this time. I get spurts of energy, and then most afternoons are a slow slide into exhaustion. Then add the fear roller coaster. Where I become mentally exhausted after the stress build up. I could in essence take a nap after every shot. Today was worse. I was warned that the Gonal -F (Follicle stimulating hormone) would mess me up. I have only just had my evening shots, and already today was not so good.

The shots this morning pinched more than I remember. I was not happy. My icepacks for some reason became rock hard, (apparently they do not get put in the freezer), so I had to use some smaller ones that we had and they did not ice the area well enough, or my hubby went slightly outside of the area that I had frozen. And for the first time in my life, my roller coaster ride hit a bump. The bump being, the 2nd shot. There was no whoosshhhh... Done. It was, okay now hold your breath again cause here comes a second shot. I was deflated after and sore. And quite frankly dreading my evening shots. I was on such a success high from the past day that I am surprised at how this morning’s post-shot feeling was so disappointing.

My fears built up bad tonight. An hour before my shot, hubby and son went to the park and I tried distracting myself with TV. Useless. I kept looking at the clock. Anxiety level was very high, and when hubby and child came home, I had a splitting headache. Thought I had frozen the area really well, and hubby did the first shot and it went okay, just a slight pinch. But the second one, hubby had to pull out, as I had said ouch a little too loud this time. We think he went outside of the frozen area. We determined that I had not sufficiently frozen the area, so got a new pack and really pressed it hard on my tummy. Second shot pinched as well. Again, did not have my high like I did yesterday.

I used to love the notion of getting two of anything. Why have one when you can have two? It applied to everything from pairs of shoes, to fluffy pillows, or sour apple martinis, heck I clearly love the number 2 as I want another child.. but 2 shots? I would have been thankful with just one.

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